When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize