ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
