mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
