Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
