I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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