I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
