So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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