We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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