And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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