Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
