You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
