I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
