I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
