One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
