im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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