Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize