Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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