I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize