It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
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11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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