please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Still dying that you shit outside
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
