member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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