so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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