Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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