The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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