I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
