I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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