How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
