am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
