The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
