The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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