I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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