my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize