anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i love accidental penises.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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