i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
