i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.