Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
