he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
