Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you would pick up someone in the library
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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