Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
