How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
