I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
