...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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