i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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