No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
