His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
