these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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