Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
