Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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