We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
