it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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