if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
