Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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