I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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