bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
