I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
