Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
