so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
