but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
