should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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