Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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